Latest Tweets:

*20

our-first-line-is-better:

Idk why Stamkos would ever want to leave Tampa for Toronto. Leonardo DiCaprio has a better chance of winning an Oscar than Stammers winning a Cup there

QFMFT

I am a quitter. I come from a long line of quitters. It’s amazing I’m here at all.

Bernard Black is my spirit animal.

(Source: newfluffytown, via bessicajach)

ninjang:

killbenedictcumberbatch:

gingerthon:

someone put into words why i hate when people rib that all homophobic people are just secretly gay 

being queer isnt some ironic punishment

THERE WE FUCKIN’ GO

(via ivyadrena)

cosmo sex tip 434

jokerisms:

when he’s on his back, lay on his chest so that your body is slightly perpendicular to his

THEN HOOK HIS LEG AND PIN HIM FOR THE THREE-COUNT TO BECOME THE NEW WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION

Finally, a useful one.

(via generationterrorist)

generationterrorist:

gaikudo:

I can’t fucking breath

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

generationterrorist:

gaikudo:

I can’t fucking breath

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Stick taps to the Dallas Stars.

(via hockeyplayertweets)

ladiesagainsthumanity:

RUTH. BADER. GINSBURG. 

via @sethdmichaels

(Source: ihopeyoulikeblackberries)

nightterrorbeauty:

natawhat:

misandrist:

People in their early twenties still refer to people older than them as “adults”. When do you think they stop… and realize… they are adults

I’m not an adult, I’m a child with a drinking permit.

drinking permit

(Source: officialjeffgoldblum, via likeprimalmusic)

Oh hockey players. Never change.

(Source: teamlazy18, via hockeyplayertweets)

evilsoutherngentleman:

theblogthatneversleeps:

Barack Obama has attained a level of sassiness one can only dream of.

Holy shit it’s real.

evilsoutherngentleman:

theblogthatneversleeps:

Barack Obama has attained a level of sassiness one can only dream of.

Holy shit it’s real.

(via ivyadrena)

sigh.

mskamalakhan:

sallysbutter:

birth control pills: 

  • can treat cysts, endometriosis, pcos, and other potentially life-threatening conditions
  • can lessen severe symptoms of menstruation
  • can treat hormonal imbalances that result in severe acne and other side effects
  • can prevent pregnancy from ever occurring

erectile dysfunction drugs:

  • give you an erection

(via generationterrorist)

drakesquad:

tuggywuggy:

drakesquad:

i’ll be like 40 w/no kids and people will say “aw i’m so sorry for you” and i’ll be like how was the fucking wiggles reunion tour asshole i went to italy last week for fun and didn’t have to hire a sitter

This is a very sad mentality. To think oneself more important than that of progeny is the sign of a failed human life.

so the wiggles concert wasn’t as good as you thought it would be huh

(via buttonspushingthemselves)

"‘Slut’ is attacking women for their right to say yes. ‘Friend Zone’ is attacking women for their right to say no."

“… and ‘Bitch’ is attacking women for their right to call you on it.”  (via moldyvoldie)

(Source: emilys-nostalgia, via annaknitsalot)

beefranck:

seriouslyamerica:

I feel a deep spiritual connection with Dorothy Zbornak.

Hero.

(via bessicajach)

http://jinxess.tumblr.com/post/69329386849/feralphoenix-roachpatrol-copyx-alright

feralphoenix:

roachpatrol:

copyx:

ALRIGHT GUYS A COMPANY I USED TO WORK FOR IS GOING PUBLIC AND ALL YOU FUCKERS WILL LOVE WHAT IT DOES

LET’S SAY YOU WANT TO GIVE YOUR SWEET FRIENDS SOMETHING EQUALLY FUCKING SWEET FOR THE HOLIDAYS. BUT THEY’RE SHY ABOUT GIVING OUT THEIR ADDRESS…